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GraphicsGirl-luvs-UK

Celtic Marshmallows
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Still no luck with getting artwork put up as my scanner is still on the blink. Oh I have plenty of sketches and I've even downloaded new painting software (which is fantastic, by the way, FireAlpaca, the first free programme I've found that lets you save a file and keeps any layers you have rather than merging them and ruining colouring).

So...yeah, there's that. I can also use college as an excuse for not getting work up. It's been hard work...and not just the coursework side. I've been in so many verbal fights now I've had to take the responsibility to start seeing the on-site councilors. I'm not in trouble per say but I'm stuck in a room with some rather...opinionated people day after day. That doesn't help. But on the plus side, I got a Merit in my first graded unit and I like to think I could have made a Distinction if I had the time to put in more work. I'm pleased with that.

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Ow, starting college has been tough. I've been on my feet most of the time so my legs are incredibly stiff. But I guess it's been okay otherwise, I mean, I've found it easier than I expected. 

This first week was just an induction so we haven't gotten down to the actual course material yet, but from the sounds of things it looks like I'll struggle with the coursework. However I have free periods and things so hopefully I'll be able to manage. The free periods are handy as I don't think I'll have time for doing homework at home because I only have about four hours of free time due to the commute. 

I'm pleased with the fact that I have learning assistant help now. It's a huge step up from my old school. I mean, the college acknowledges that people have disabilities for a start- school didn't, they cut corners on learning support and basically stopped people from using coping strategies. I've had people tell me that the college isn't so great on the disability front but it seems a darn sight better than school. I'm not sure about the students, though, as I caught the hipsters in my course laughing over the fact that I had a bit of a meltdown during a socializing thingy we had to do on the first day. Right in front of me. Something people don't seem to realize is that I might be stupid but I'm not deaf. Fuck you- it's not cool to laugh over someone's issues. Not mine, not someone elses, no ones. 

I'm trying not to let that get me down though, I'm on civil terms with quite a few people. I wouldn't say "friends" as I'm not exactly sure how to use the term but y'know, I don't think they hate me. 

So overall, it's okay. I suppose I should wait a few weeks until I judge it completely but hopefully it'll turn out I made the right choice. I did have some personal projects I wanted to work on but that seems unlikely due to my lack of spare time but it's fine, ideas are portable and I have a sketchbook with me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to catch up with all the Pointless I've missed due to not getting in until six.
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...but come on, GCSE results are/were something worth worrying about, right? I can't help being a nervous person.

So yes, today was the day. I got my results. I did better than I expected- I even got an A in English Language. I just got the one D and one E but those were in Science which I knew I wouldn't pass. I'm also surprised I passed English Literature. Still, it's a GCSE, not to be sniffed at. 

'Course, now I'm scared I'm overqualified for the course I'm set to do at college. I'm starting at a lower level because my coursework and idea development skills suck and because I want to gain a extra year's experience but what if they just look at my results and put me on the higher level course because I have the right grades. I won't be able to handle the higher course, I'll fail. My enrollment's in a few days time so I'll see then.

...I knew I should have applied for Life Skills instead. I


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College is causing me stress and I haven't even officially enrolled yet. See, the people on my course all got given summer homework: we got assigned a partner, we need to interview them and then turn the answers into artwork. My partner hasn't replied to my messages (which I sent 3 weeks ago) and my lecturers said I could interview a friend instead. I have to celebrate the fact I emailed the lecturers rather than fretting and staying silent until the first day when I have nothing to hand in. Woo! It's a small step but it's worth five seconds of celebration.

That's the problem comes in. I don't really...I'm not...I kind of suck in the friends department. I was wondering if anyone might want to help me? I just have to interview you about yourself. I know I sound incredibly loser-ish but I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate. The deadline's about a month away and I need to start quickly if I'm going to finish this work (there's a lot of components). 

Anybody...please? With sugar on top?


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Okay, well, my college open day went okay. Well, I'd say better than okay because I didn't have an anxiety attack. The exercises they had us doing were right up my street and the other people taking the course seem nice enough...well, I didn't make any new enemies so that's a good thing. The only bad thing was the fact that it turned out a lot of irritating people from my secondary school are going. Some took the chance to shout stuff at me when I was walking home. Fuck they get on my nerves! I know have a certain vibe about me but that isn't a reason to shout shit at me. Only I can't call it bullying because there people are bullied to worse extents than being called a retard and getting unwantingly slapped on the backside. I'm just sick of those annoying chavs. 

But good news, I've gotten a sewing machine as a present for finishing my exams. I don't know where I'm going to put it as there's no space in my room but I'm glad to be able to own one finally. Even if I can't make clothes, I can still use it for making stronger stitches than those I can do by hand. Even just being able to alter clothing will be a big step forward. But until I can set it up I'm doing some book learning...not that it makes much sense because my brain isn't very good with written instructions. Oh well, I'm sure I'll pick it up over time. 
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